Am I Abusing or Disciplining My Child?

1. Child is physically injured, including bruising, broken skin, swelling or a situation that requires medical attention
2. Punishment is meant to instill fear rather than to educate the child
3. Caretaker, whether a parent, guardian or school official, loses control
4. Action is inappropriate for the child’s age
5. Action results from a caretaker’s unreasonable demands or expectations for the child

1. Do I feel good about this exchange?
2. Is there an important lesson that I imparted?
3. Does my child know that I love him or her?
4. Is there mutual respect, or fear?
5. Am I behaving in a way that I want my child to emulate?

1. Lacks knowledge or understanding of a child’s developmental needs
2. Shows immature/impulsive behavior or uses children to meet emotional or physical needs
3. Strict disciplinarian frustrated by unmet expectations for their children; is rigid, compulsive, authoritative or demanding
4. Unrealistic expectations or standards for him/herself and children
5. Lacks interpersonal skills and is unable to interact with other people, form relationships or work together with others
6. Is isolated, with little or no support from family, friends, neighbors and other social groups
7. Parent looks to children to meet their own basic unmet emotional needs for necessities such as warmth, love and support
8. Shows poor self-concept and considers themselves unlovable, worthless, or bad
9. Resents or fears authority
10. Acts in a hostile and aggressive manner
11. Shows cruel or sadistic behavior

1. Repeated, or frequent, unexplained bruises:
– On the face, nose, throat, upper arms, buttocks, thighs or lower back
– In unusual shapes or patterns, or clusters, suggesting use of some instrument (lashes, loops, lines or bites)

2. Burns including:
– Cigarette burns (circular in shape on palms, hands, feet, genitalia or stomach)
– Immersion burns (from being forced into hot water; “glove” effect or could be doughnut-shaped)
– Rope burns
– Burns in shape of common household appliances or utensils

3. Skeletal injuries to the face, skull, or bones around joints; or fractures or dislocations
4. Lacerations; missing, chipped or loose teeth; lost hair or bald patches; broken eardrums

1. Extreme swings in behaviors (aggression, withdrawal, regression)
2. Depression or excessive crying
3. Unbelievable or inconsistent explanations for injuries
4. Inappropriate fear of a parent or a caretaker
5. Unusual shyness, or wariness of physical contact
6. Antisocial behavior such as running away or substance abuse
7. Reluctance to go home
8. Belief that punishment is deserved